My Unfortunate Encounter with A Narcissist

My goal in writing this blog is to talk about the time I encountered a narcissistic person.

< hope u learn from my mistakes XD >

The first part of this short blog post will talk about my recent contact with a narcissist. I worked with someone for a few months who I had a hard time getting along with inside and outside of work. We often disagree, but this most recent argument was a little different. I thought that addressing them would make things better, but to my surprise, it made things worse.

It took me a long time to figure out what I did wrong before I realized that I wasn't the one having problems. A few days of meditation and a lot of reading helped me realize that the person I was dealing with was a narcissist. What I learned about self-defense during this process was very helpful, and we will talk about that.

When I confronted the narcissist, they were extremely defensive whenever I disagreed with or criticized them. I guess this is the effect of "confrontation". They appeared unconcerned about my viewpoint and insensitive to my emotions.

In order for us to have a productive conversation, it became apparent that I needed to change the way I spoke to them.

I learned the hard way that narcissistic people frequently wouldn't listen when I tried to express my emotions. It was hard for them to understand or care about my feelings because of their innate lack of empathy. Since this was more likely to strike a chord with them, I found it more effective to address concerns by presenting objective facts and data (i.e., screenshots).

I've read that narcissists are frequently very sensitive to disagreements and see criticism as an attack on their inflated sense of self-worth (>>read more here).

What I did was simply communicate my emotions and thoughts, but they took it the wrong way. My persona was increasingly being portrayed as the antagonist the more I dared to speak my mind. This became difficult for me because the narcissist's beliefs had already swayed other people, so I couldn't defend myself from them. Because of this, I realized I needed to be cautious in phrasing my worries throughout our chats so that we could continue to have open lines of communication and they wouldn't get defensive.

I guess the most important takeaway from this encounter was that I should've clearly set my boundaries in order to safeguard my mental health and feel in charge of the relationship. I now realize that it was helpful to establish clear boundaries on acceptable and unacceptable behavior.

Here's how I helped myself recover:

1. Avoided emotional encounters after the confrontation. Knowing that narcissists don't have real empathy and probably don't care how I'm feeling, I made it a point to emotionally distance myself from their manipulations. I deleted my social media accounts and stopped responding to and entertaining people who asked about the said confrontation. By doing so, I reclaimed my power and safeguarded my emotional health. I recognized that giving them the emotional response they wanted would only fuel their behavior, so I chose not to engage in their manipulative tactics.
2. Seeking Assistance. Coping with a narcissist can be emotionally taxing, leaving you feeling alone and overwhelmed. I sought comfort in communicating with my encouraging friends throughout this process. Their empathy and presence gave me the support I needed and made me feel comfortable enough to go through my feelings. Thanks to their advice and support, I was able to work through the relationship's complexity and develop more constructive coping mechanisms. If you struggle to find the courage and resilience to handle such challenging relationships, reaching out to trusted friends, family, or therapists for assistance can be an important first step.
3. Practice Self-Care. Distractions aren't necessarily bad; in fact, they often provide us the opportunity to think deeply about how we feel. Personally, I took comfort in spending time with my sister and friends playing games. These activities took my mind away from the issue at hand and allowed me to momentarily escape the situation. When I felt ready to face the situation again, I had a fresher headspace and a renewed sense of clarity. One way to regain equilibrium and resilience is to do things that make you happy, practice mindfulness or meditation, and take care of yourself on all levels (physical, emotional, and mental).

Having made mistakes, I have learned how important it is to protect myself, set limits, and care for my own health. Today, I'm glad to say that I no longer talk to that selfish person. Their absence from my life makes me feel so happy and relieved. That's it; I'm not letting them back into my life ever again. Good riddance!

With this experience, I can move forward with more strength and a better sense of who I am, knowing that I have fought for my own happiness and well-being.